For fucks sake, mum. You have been working with computers since the seventies. How can you not know a single one of your passwords?
Scenario #1
Parents: we will buy a new laptop
Me: buy a Mac, it’s easy and you can keep it for years
Parents: we bought the most shitty Acer/Whatever computer ever in a Walmart because the salesman was nice to us, we also bought a subscription to the shittiest antivirus ever, it says it protects our DNA or bodily fluids from the North Korean hacksters, is it good? We also bought an Office subscription even though we use it once a yearScenario #2
Parents: we will buy a new TV
Me: don’t buy a smart TV, don’t buy Samsung, don’t buy anything more than full HD because you’re almost blind and it’s not worth it
Parents: we bought a gigantic 8K Samsung smart TV because the salesman loved us and got us a $10 coupon on that $1000 TVScenario #3
Parents: we will buy a new phone
Me: buy an iPhone, it’s simple
Parents: we bought the shittiest Samsung ever and it comes with an antivirus and a cloud subscription, also why is it broken all the time?And that’s why I don’t give them advice anymore.
I think there’s something with age and lead poisoning that makes people short sighted, easily manipulated with emotional appeals, and short tempered.
The number of times I have had this phone conversation is greater than 3:
“I accidentally clicked something on Facebook and now my computer is playing a loud noise and I can’t do anything and it says not to turn off my computer or all my data will be lost.”
“Restart your computer”
“But it says not to!”
“It’s a virus that just took over your computer. Why would you do what it told you?”
“I don’t want to lose all my files!”
“You don’t have any files on that computer and it doesn’t matter. Just restart.”
(Back and forth a few times)
“Oh, I just restarted and everything is back to normal. Never mind!”
“It says I can’t”
“What says you can’t?”
“The computer”
“What is the message?”
“It says it can’t”
“Tell me exactly what it says. I need to know that.”
“THIS IS THE PROBLEM WITH YOU NERDS, YOU MAKE THINGS SO DIFFICULT!”
- there is a problem with the computer
- what does it say?
- [reproduce the bug, an error message is shown, clicks OK at the speed of light]
- why don’t you read what’s on the fucking screen?
- it’s boring that’s why I clicked
OMFG the elderly parent tech support shit.
My dad and his wife drove me crazy with that shit. The best part about the wife is that when she would call me for help she would argue with me about the things I told her to do.
This is the situation, they are in their condo in Florida and I am outside Baltimore MD, On a phone call.
- Her: The keyboard wont work
- Me : The battery is probably dead, replace the battery
- Her: We have never replaced a battery in a key board.
- Me: ok, that is probably why it is dead.
- Her: It doesn’t have a battery.
- Me: (as I set it for them I know it is wireless) Does it have a cable connecting it to the computer?
- Her: no
- Me: ok, then it is wireless, the batter is probably dead. Flip the keyboard over and look for the battery cover.
- Her: (I hear on the phone that she has not flipped the keyboard over) I don’t see it.
- Me: have you flipped over the keyboard over.
- Her: (at this point, she is in total brainlock) how do I do that?
- Me: (pours myself another whiskey and coke)
Yeah back when it was all PC tech support I would just use Teamviewer and other products to shadow their PC and see WTF their issues where. Now with everything being cellphone it is fucking hopeless.
For a long time I did convince them to get the same exact phone as I had so I could at least give them step by step instructions on some issues.
Then “the nice guy” at the phone place gave them a great deal on a different phone type.
Now my dad’s mental capability is completely gone so that has stopped and I got so sick of her shit that I have shut it down.
I imagine they use WhatsApp, in which case it allows sharing their screen so you could at least see what is going on. I don’t know of it can share control however.
Good luck.
They do not and nor do I, but I will get all of us on it.
Thank you!
Just here to brag that when my dad upgraded to windows 11, he was tricked into making a microsoft365 acct which was promptly compromised.
So I walked him through the process of downloading a Linux mint iso, checking the hash in powershell, downloading rufus, prepping install media, and getting him off windows for the remainder of his life.
I had no eyes on the situation. All over the phone. His browser was giving malware results for everything so no downloads could be trusted.
2 years on his only complaint is occasional printer problems. He’s in his 70s.
You should put that on your CV, that’s honestly impressive
My father is a teacher with two masters degrees in engineering, my mother is a teacher with a bachelor’s in math. My father taught tech starting in 1985 in the last 10ish years I’ve been their tech support, my degree is in philosophy.
My dad hasn’t installed banking on his phone. He also doesn’t know the password for his email and his phone logged him out. So what happens when his credit card is declined for a b&b he’s booked and (after calling him) they send him a link to arrange a bank transfer, but he’s only logged in on the tablet he doesn’t have with him?
🥴
I have actually seen this with folks. Not in IT specifically but had a computer at work and had to login and theoretically do tasks with the computer more advanced than casual use of their own. Worse they can’t seem to use a local password manager to. IE update it when they make a new account or change their password. Its not just IT though as I see it with purchasing and billing like they did not do that a ton in their job. Or for that matter dealing with paperwork and beuracracy. I kinda worry about this happening to me as I age. I will admit it takes me longer to go through things than it used to. I like to think im evaluating them better but its honestly just can’t do the high energy frantic push anymore.
I taught my mum to use 1Password and the best part is under 1Password for Families, I can add access to her vault so if she does forget I can point her to it.
Plus it gets them out of the habit of reusing simple passwords.
That sounds familiar, my dad used to do contracting and worked away from home on the week. When he got back on a Friday, he would as me how he connects to the network. Every week I would tell him the same thing, just plug the cable in to your computer
Sounds like your dad was trying to connect with you
How many phone numbers do you know off the top of your head? Everyone only has a certain amount of brain power and it sounds like she just prefers not to waste hers on minutiae like passwords.
But you could always be a good son and set her up a password manager.
The trouble is when you don’t remember them but also don’t have an alternative set up and are just expecting things to work.
Ideally you remember a minimum of 3-4 phone numbers that can help you in an emergency and give you access to the rest of the phone numbers.
Follow up: any advice for preferably FOSS remote desktop Linux to Windows 11 and Android to Android phone?
Remmina is an rdp client for linux. Might have to use gnome to use it and I think I have heard from folks issues with it not being updated but it has worked for me in the past.
Instead of complaining, introduce her to password managers - then she only needs to remember one pw.
She needs to keep track of two-three passwords. Yet every time it is “how should I know the password?” I don’t think it would make any difference if it was only one and a password manager adds one more layer of confusion when I’m doing remote tech support over the phone.
My mom, every time she needs to re-enter her Gmail password: “I’m pretty sure there’s never been a password on my email thing.”
I share your frustration. Both of my parents have multiple sheets of paper next to their computers with “all” of their passwords written on them, but when they need tech support (i.e., me), the password they need is never on there.
Have you considered the possibility that this could be a subconscious act by your mom to communicate with you, a way to ensure she gets to talk to you more frequently than otherwise?
We talk on the phone at least once a week. Unfortunately I think she is getting old.
Shit (and menopause) happens. Time for post it notes.
I think her menopause was twenty years ago.
I’d say tell her to write it down, but my MIL always writes them down wrong.
That’s when you set her up with a passphrase instead of a password. Much easier to remember “The password is open sesame 143!” than “dkkfuY665&k)”
She decided on them herself, I know them and they are veeery easy for her to remember. A passphrase would be much more confusing for my old mum that was upset when she got her new phone that the keyboard was not alphabetical and only accepted after resistance that neither was it on her old phone.
LOoooooooooooooOOOOLLLLL
Then she will just forget the password to the password manager.
Try the cat’s name
Won’t work, they’ll refuse to learn how that works and ask even more questions afterwards
My moms password manager, is just my password manager. (That’s not entirely true, she did figure it out eventually, but for a while there I was simply saving all her account passwords in my manager.)
