“Your delivery will arrive on a day between a point in time and a different point in time. You better be there when the driver pretends to check if someone’s at home and leaves without ringing anyway - not like you have anything better to do you lazy fuck.”

“Download our app and consume ads on it because… becaaaaauuuuuusssseeeeee, um, let’s say SOMEBODY THINK OF THE CHILDREN? Maybe terrorism? Just pick a reason you’d believe and get the app, okay?”

Absolutely catastrophic mismanagement.

Hard disagree. When the vultures gut and eat the racehorse they just bought, they’re perfectly happy with the outcome.

The nice lady who plugs the connections at the post office would give a telemarketer a stern talking-to and that’s that.

Third Half-Life 3 DLC likely to launch before GTA6 too.

Fun fact: one of these three is actually just someone in a suit. Who it is may surprise you.

I feel uneasy upvoting this.

I hear that every single person who drowned with the Titanic was later found to have elevated concentrations of dihydrogen monoxide in their bodies. Coincidence? I think not.

They forgot the third option: don’t use it.

But eating sin gives me indigestion…

Still waiting for Obama to take all my guns and outlaw Christmas tbh.

What? Why WOULDN’T everybody let the guy whose latest genius idea in a stunning sequence of brilliant business decisions was squeezing every twitter user for money in a service they previously got for free implant hardware into their brain? It’ll be just like a tesla: automated driving available next year since like 2010 or so (assuming it doesn’t fall apart, run over the elderly or burst into flames) in a hyperloop near you!