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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: June 12th, 2023

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  • My siblings and I were raised by an abusive narcissist who spent most of her free time screaming at my dad, when she wasn’t emotionally abusing and neglecting us.

    But of course the cultural narrative was that men are only and always abusers, and women are only and always abused - so we normalised it; our whole reality bent around the notion that she was the poor innocent beleagured victim just doing her best to survive.

    We took a vast amount of damage because an interpretation where she was the abuser simply wasn’t available to us - instead of forming defenses against her, we rendered ourselves more vulnerable.

    I don’t take kindly to being told to go fix women’s problems first before mine will matter.





  • To be clear, there’s nothing wrong with using female as an adjective.

    Calling someone a female customer / politician / patient / etc is perfectly fine and normal.

    The problem comes when you use it as a noun.

    Think of calling someone “a gay”, “a black” or “a Chinese”.

    You just don’t use adjectives-as-nouns to refer to people, apart from a very limited set of exceptions.

    Instead you talk about a gay, black or Chinese person.

    The same goes for ‘female’.

    And since there’s already a word for ‘female person’ - ie. ‘woman’ - then going out of your way to avoid it makes you sound like a raging incel.