outdated hardware

I think they prefer the term “time-tested.”

As a human being intrinsically tied to the fate of the Earth, you are legally required to mercilessly harass these friends for buying a new phone each year.

How the fuck can anyone justify this behavior?

They frequently didn’t allow me to use copy/paste around 10-15 years ago and I never forgave them for robbing me of such a basic feature. I switched to Android as soon as my iPhone died.

Why not take it a step further and be fully serious?

I would like to see a new set of laws where if there are any employees at an organization who aren’t earning a living wage with full benefits (not PTO or that 1 week vacation bullshit, paid sick leave and 5+ weeks of paid vacation per year, minimum), and if employees are regularly (more than 1 week out of a year) required to work more than 40 hours in a week, a timer starts.

They have 1 week to rectify the situation or the owners and entire executive team are given a prison sentence for 30 years and all of their assets are seized. No outside amenities or special privileges allowed in prison. Mandatory reeducation classes with public written and oral presentation assignments where the person must describe what they did that was wrong, why it was wrong, how their actions negatively affected others, and what actions they’ve taken to right their wrongs and learn to be better since their violation. When released, they are permanently barred from owning any portion of a private company or acting in a paid supervisory role for 20 years unless granted this right by unanimous vote by all of those they will supervise, subject to a new vote at the workers’ discretion.

Supervisor pay is tacked to no more than 1.5x that of their lowest paid worker. Executives cannot receive stock options as any form of compensation. If a private company is found in violation, it and all of its assets are equally distributed, becoming the collective property of the employees unless they wave this right, in which case it becomes property of the state and can never be sold to a private party again. The law applies to all organizations where any participant is paid. In the case of the state, the rules for the executive team apply to the head of state and their cabinet.

Have fun fucking around with those laws, but I’m sure I could come up with more as they search for loopholes. For instance, those found to be subverting the system are subject to a 50 year sentence instead of 30.

I’d accept a socialist society as an alternative. I’m sure the workers could come up with laws they find appropriate in that case. My hope would be that mine would be oppressive enough toward the ruling class to make them desire the reprieve of socialism, the sadistic, parasitic fucks. This is more than they deserve.

This argument is hilarious with the intended implication that Republicans would somehow be different

Irrelevant hypothetical. The Democrats are complicit in an ongoing genocide.

Dems are still far better for the US though

Keep dreaming. They’ve been telling you this for decades, but there’s functionally no difference at home (besides the crackdown on protests against the genocide, fascism much?). Roe v Wade was overturned under Democrats despite them using the abuser logic, “if you don’t vote for us, our opponents will take away this right.” Speaking of, the Democrats have had multiple opportunities to codify RvW over the last 50 years, times when they had super majorities, but they didn’t. The Democrats decided to hold it over our heads as a threat instead. The Democrats decided to allow the Republicans to bully them into filling SCOTUS with right-wingers who would support their agenda. The Democrats have fulfilled none of their domestic policy promises to the people (only wealthy “investors,” let’s be honest, they aren’t contributing to campaigns, they are investing in the ability to shape policy), they have taken no actions to address the frequent abuses of the filibuster made by Republicans, and they’ve by far been the more deadly of these two parties when it comes to foreign policy (sanctions) and military operations.

How much longer are you going to continue eating their shit and pretending it’s chocolate? Do you really think you are so helpless as to have no option but to vote for one of these two parties? Do you think the only political action you can take is donating, campaigning for one of two shitty parties, and voting? Oops, my favored political party is doing shit I don’t want (contributing to a genocide), but I’m not going to do shit and will still vote for them despite that.

Quit your shit and just own it. I’d say it’s hilarious, but it just isn’t anymore. You want to vote for fascists, you are pressuring others to vote for fascists, and it’s either because you fucking want fascists in power or you don’t want to oppose these fascists. You are supporting a genocide and it’s sickening.

Just shut the fuck up with the fascist apologia and classic liberal moral grandstanding. No one buys the lie that the Democrats are the morally superior party anymore. The Democrats aren’t progressive and never will be. Your support of them reflects on you and your values. You aren’t progressive, you support these fucking ghouls despite claiming to have morals and values and desires that are opposite of the actions your chosen party is taking.

Get fucked.

Full HD and in stereo!

There are people who always have super solid movements that don’t leave a trail. Many of us have a variety of textures that smear as they exit.

I get that, but my experience has been that even greasy, sticky shits get properly washed off my bum so long as I use a decent bidet and know how to use it properly. I haven’t found an instance where a bidet has been insufficient and I don’t mean to belittle anyone, but there is a bit of a learning curve and perhaps it was a lack of experience or the lack of quality equipment?

Poops that would leave me wiping 20x and with a sore, bleeding asshole while wiping are not an issue with a wash. I guess someone’s poop could be very different from mine, but I haven’t run into such an issue after using one for years unless I just didn’t wash properly.

A bidet removes the majority of it but never all, and wiping reveals what is left behind.

This can absolutely be true, but it’s an indication of improper washing and the need for a repeat or a better bidet.

Mine auto-tweets which number and the health profile of what I did and even switches between accounts based upon who is using it. Biometric scanning and mass data collection is used to match you with the correct account. If you don’t have one, it registers new users without an account. Obviously filters out those under 13 as they don’t meet the terms of service.

When you flush it also plays a recording of a random tweet from our Lord and Savior Elon’s account in his voice.

Edit: Can’t wait for my Cyber Truck to arrive so I can connect it and activate the feature where it honks my truck’s horn every time I flush.

To collect your wet, smelly, non-degradable rags? No thanks, I’ll keep the bidet.

No. If you are using a decent bidet and using it correctly, you do not need to wipe. At most you’ll need to dab dry, but some models have blow driers so this isn’t necessary. The water is the friction you need unless your bidet has weak pressure or the stream is too dispersed.

Soap would always be better, but water alone is vastly superior and a complete replacement for wiping so long as something isn’t wrong with the setup.

Yeah, same. I installed UBlock Origin on my Firefox browser for free and gotta say that enjoying YouTube and YT Music Ad-Free is the way to do it!

I prefer to chug my oil, crude.

Shhh! Vegan is an option, not a mandate!

Confirmed, oil is vegan.

I’ll give it a shot, but I think it will make more sense for me to make the conversion from meters to years without using light years. I’m a chemist, not a physicist and don’t want to look up the conversions I don’t remember.

The sun travels ~940,000,000 km/human year…

= 940,000,000 km/yr × 1000 m/km = 940,000,000,000 m/yr

= 940,000,000,000 m/yr × 1 year/365.256 days

= 2573537464.1 m/day × 1 day/24 hr × 1 hr/60 min × 1 min/60 s

= 29786.3132423 m/s

16 m × 1 s/29786.3132423 m = 0.000537 s (human)

The dog is about half a millisecond old (in human years).

I found some human-to-dog years calculator online that cites a scientific paper. The formula it uses is:

Human years = 16 × ln(Dog years) + 31

Therefore… Dog years = e^(((Human Years-31)^)/16)

To use the dog calculator, it’s easier to start back at m/yr.

16 m × 1 year/940,000,000,000 m = 1.70212765E−11 human years

Human to dog years = e^{(((1.70212765E−11)}-31)/16)

= 0.14406 dog years x 365.524 dog days / 1 dog year

= 52.6 dog days.

The human to dog year equation isn’t meant for times less than 0.001 human year, so take the dog days number with a grain of salt.

Hopefully I didn’t mess anything up along the way, I did this all on the phone and it’s harder to double-check than on paper!

True communism is drinking Diet Coke instead of regular Coke.

Casual misogyny. “I don’t hate women!” Doesn’t hate the idea of women serving men’s desires.

The world isn’t static and losses can be won again.

Yes, I was confused at first.

My issue was with that type of sarcasm, which is why I responded with a similarly dismissive sarcastic remark.

Dismissing people’s complaints by saying “you can go use something else/move someplace else” is unhelpful and used to negate their complaints without ever having to address their source.

I doubt many people see an anonymous counter as a huge problem itself, I don’t. The point is that this is a first step in a direction we don’t want to see the software go. If you don’t push back against these things from the moment they show up, they will continue to slowly inch in that direction until you end up in a nightmare like Chrome or Edge.