L̶̨̢̢̮̼̬̼̬̠̗̳̜͈̣͇̮̼̱̪͙̰̯̝͉̽̃̏̓́̂̈́͗̂͋̇̍͊̈́̏̌̔̓̐̈́̈́͐̃͋̀͛̃͑̕͝o̶̯͉͂̽̏̇̄̑́̈́̾̋̄̎͗͝o̸̧̨̭̭͙̲̫̲͖͇͊̉̉̎͒̓̃́̌̍̓́̌͛̈́̔͌͌̏͌̕̕̚̕͠͝͝ͅǩ̴̪̹̺͓̭̤̗͉̟̰̣̫̻̙̳̞̐̈́s̵̡̨̢̨̩̖̜͉̺̖̼͇̲͕̩͎͖͒̉̃͒̂̽̇̂̉̈́̓̇́͌͑͆̇̈́̍̄͌͑̕̕̚̕̚̚͝͝ͅ ̸̢̡̢͙͔͙̦̺̪͖͎̪͖͔͖̙̘̯̠̙̙̱̠̖̻̳͖̰͔̜͌̔̍̐͛̐̓̒͐̂̎̀̄̈̄͐̇̎͒̃͊̇̈́̈͘͝͝f̶̧̡̟̤͈͍͇͖͔̹̲̘̫͈̟̙̫̙͓͎̙̘̰̹̅̽̓͌̐͗̊̓̀̒͒͛̌̎̆̇̈͋̐̀̋̍̓̿̚͜͝͝i̴̛̬̠͉̺̪̮̮̻̞̬̳̗͎̺͔̘̖͈͖̖̻̝͔͍̬̖̪̙̫̦̓̓͋̍̂̀̌̅͆͂͋̏͌̓͋́̀͑͆̉̚̚n̴͓̰̗̘̞̍̍̽͛̃e̶̡̨̳̼͍̮̼̤̮̮̹͕̜̭̬̭̳̣͍̰̾͗̈́̉́͆̄͑́̎̀͑̈́̉͐̈́͑̍̇͑̆͌̕͠͠͝͝͝͠ ̵̨̨̛̲͕̞̻̜̳̞̻̯̹̦̗͓̮̈́̈͝t̷̢͇͉͈̲͎͉̘̩̼͖̖̤̝͂̂̍͆͊̈́͑͆͌͛͗̔̃͐̎͛͋̍̂̒̈́̂̀̒̈́͌̕͝͝͝ͅơ̷̺̊̾̑̈́̾̑̊̾̃̋̆̾͝ ̷̡̮͇̺̙͕̝̯͚̦̥̝̬̉́̓̄̏̂̄̏̎̒̐͒̓̐͌̋̅̀͊̎̐̓̄̊̂̓̊̕m̴̢̡̛̬̟͖̖͎̰̹͊̍̈͗͑̐͑͐̇͒̈̎̏̍̏́̾̿̐̚̚͜͝ȩ̸̡̛̫̩̞̲͉̩̪̳͊̂̃́̊́̌̑͋͆͛͗̏̒͐̉̊͌̋̉͘̕̚͝.̵̧̪͖̳͇̩̫̺̜̱͍͍̻̋͗̉̔̾̈́́̈́͋̏͒̾̍̾̉͌͆̉͑̎͐͑͌̄͆̓͜͠͝ͅ

There’s a big difference between getting a paper cut and being stabbed with a rusty sword. Neither one may be what you want, but telling people with a sword sticking out of their chest some platitude about “Yeah, but papercuts suck too” makes you sound like an absolute idiot.

There are approximately 146,000 people named Mario in the US alone. Any one of them could do the FUNNIEST THING.