Maybe solution is somewhere in the middle, not one of extremes?

In my case: door is unlocked + nobody in the hallway -> notification. State of the door lock accessible via app is nice by itself (did I close the door?).

Generally anything you want to do at home, but often forget.

You can self-host the server

Took me a moment, but I converted most close contacts to Telegram. Not Meta-infested and solid apps including desktop.

It gets easier the more you already have.

Then you don’t need all