That same feeling was pretty much everyday with him. Like I said, that’s just one of the things he said.

I don’t remember any of my classmates names. I remember the teacher absolutely would not allow him to call himself MotherFucker.

One kid tried being something between class clown and bully. So he kept laughing and calling him MotherFucker. To which the kid had no reaction. It would be like laughing and telling Steve that his name was Steve, and laughing again while Steve is confused because thats his name. That’s how MotherFucker felt. Meanwhile the bully was trying to make the rest of the class laugh, but we didn’t laugh. We just thought the bully was an asshole.

Another day on show and tell, we all brought our favorite toys. He brought a wood block with a face drawn in sharpie.

For my show and tell, I brought my favorite toy. The teenage mutant ninja turtles.

Everyone brought their favorite toys. When we saw what he had, everyone just had this awkward silence. The smart girl, who always got straight As stood up without being prompted, and gave him her science set. Then another kid…and another. I hated giving up my ninja turtles toys. I remember being furious with his dad that day. So I made him 2 cards. One for him, one for his dad. The card I gave to him was just me telling him how he’s a good kid, and I’m happy to be his friend. I gave him both cards, and my 4 ninja turtles. Every kid gave him their favorite toys. It became one of the defining moments in my childhood that defined my outlook of sometimes needing to sacrifice a bit to help others. I was mad I had to give up my ninja turtles, but also look at him. He’s got an abusive dad, a broken home life, and now his favorite toy is a block of scrap wood. How can I flaunt my ninja turtles when he has so little? I remember my 5 year old brain having that train of thought as I watched everyone go to him one by one and give their toys. I hated it, but I knew I had to also give him my toys. That may seem like nothing now. I’m 42, and giving some toys away seems like nothing. But at 5 years old I loved those toys. They were on equal footing with my family members in terms of how much I loved them. Because I was 5 years old, and everything at that age is more dramatic.

The card for his dad just said “FUCK YOU! MOTHERFUCKER!” and signed it. Then put it in an envelope I made on the spot from tape and a piece of paper. I wrote “DAD” on the envelope, and told him to give that one to his dad.

Later I got in trouble at school because his dad got mad that I made him a card. I remember telling the teacher "If I’m in detention for using that language, shouldn’t (kid)'s dad be in detention too?

I think differently. It didn’t register in my brain at that age that the dad can’t be sent to detention. I thought of it in cause and effect terms.

Cause: I used forbidden language.

Effect: I get sent to detention.

Ok, so by that logic, shouldn’t the dad also be in detention? Well no. The teacher said she can only send her students to detention.

Ok, so who punishes dad? Teacher says nobody can punish him.

Ok, so that means after I get out of school I’m free to do all the things I can’t do now? What’s the point?

I wasn’t being sarcastic, or a smart ass. I was legitimately asking to understand how this works. So she called my dad, and my dad was mad at her more than me. I got out of detention because of that.

Oh, and also my dad bought me 4 more ninja turtles when he found out what happened.