Hey,
I recently lost my furry friend… It was a tough period and I’m still sad, even if time is healing slowly.
It’s the first time I had to deal with such a situation where I have to decide when to go to the vet for the final journey… It was so hard…
Today I can talk about it without getting too emotional. I’ve also written a blog post on my website to express what I was feeling about that.
People are telling me to adopt another one, but to be honest, I don’t feel like I can do it now… Maybe it will come back, I don’t know.
All I can say is that it was one of the hardest thing endure. We love so much those small little animals… Maybe too much.
And you, how have you dealt with such situation? Did you ended up getting another one at some point?
I wasn’t allowed to adopt a pet when I was growing up, my father and legal guardian didn’t like how “dirty and destructive” they were.
As soon as I graduated 12th grade I moved to another town for uni, finally renting my own apartment. I got into a serious relationship and together we felt our home needed more life; a cat. We visited our local humane society and as soon as we entered one room holding at least 15 cats, we knew who to bring home. Our little Chicky climbed my six foot frame like a tree and stood upon my shoulders as if she were a fanged parrot. We as humans go to these shelters thinking “who will I pick”, but instead she picked us.
A few years later, my relationship ended poorly. I was already prone to mental health issues (yay, genetics) but her infidelity along with the pressures of school and work broke me. I tried to take my own life one day. As I was sitting on the bathroom floor and it welled up inside of me I knew I was ready.
In walks this little creature, nary a care about exam deadlines and romantic security. She must’ve known something was happening as she walked over to me and laid in my lap, just staring at me. She saved me that day. Since then, I’ve developed an emotional bond with this little animal that is stronger than anything I’ve felt before.
About two years ago was when life really started to challenge both feline and myself. During a dental check at the vet, they noticed her bad breath and ran a blood test and UA. It was confirmed that afternoon that she had moderate renal disease. It wasn’t end-stage at the time, but for her only being 7 years old at the time it just dug a little deeper into my heart.
She has doubly beaten her vet’s prognosis of one year, but I’m beginning to see the disease whittle her away. She’s skinnier, sleeps deeper, and doesn’t always come when called now. It’s tough seeing something you love so much slowly fade away.
Before her diagnosis, my fiancee and I had lost our other 13 year old cat to SCC quite suddenly. In a span of one week Teah went from jubilant to lethargic and leaving traces of blood in her food. That was the most difficult thing we’ve ever had to endure. It still hurts today.
Just one year ago as well we had to put our good boy pup to rest for liver failure and a heart murmur. He lived a very long life though, so we’re happy he is able to rest now.
You’re not just losing a pet when they pass. You’re losing structure. Compassion. A friend. It’s never easy, especially when they’re taken too soon. Grief is the price we pay for love, so cry as hard as you loved them and understand they’ll be waiting for you on the other side.
“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.” --C.S. Lewis