• HiramFromTheChi@lemmy.worldEnglish
    1·
    2 months ago

    Not just download the app, but sign up for an account (and the newsletter in the process).

    Then grant permissions to your phone:

    • camera (so it can watch you poop and train + analyze the footage with AI)
    • microphone (so it can hear and analyze if your plops are optimal)
    • contacts (to send out an invitation to all your contacts, along with a clip of your last poop sesh)
    • photos and videos (to upload, store, and analyze your life since birth, along with everyone else who’s in your pictures)
    • sensors (to see how you’re holding the phone, when, how much, how hard, etc.)
    • notifications (to sell you the premium plan)
    • location (for pinpoint accuracy of your 💩 locations)
    • call logs (to see who you’re communicating with before, during, and after you drop your log)
    • nearby devices (for accuracy and to silently communicate with nearby devices)
    • calendar (for full history and to schedule your next mondo duke)
  • Draghetta@lemmy.worldEnglish
    1·
    2 months ago

    Funny how this is supposed to be absurd - upside down duck, cake, “bizarro” and all - but it’s actually pretty accurate. So many products out there that require you to download their shitty spyware in order to do the things they are supposed to do.

      • CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.orgEnglish
        3·
        2 months ago

        Yep. Until you can’t find non-garbage products anymore because 95% of everyone else is dumb enough to fall for it.

        I think there’s a reasonable case to be made against buyer beware here, we need to ban this shit.

      • CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.orgEnglish
        1·
        2 months ago

        And it goes down mid-use, and the toilet has tamper-proofing that stops you from emptying it any other way “for security”.

  • ericatty@infosec.pubEnglish
    0·
    2 months ago

    NOOO!!! This is the Torment Nexus of toilets… now some company is going to do this…